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Week 13 : The Lost Art of Letters
I’ve always loved handwritten letters. Ever since I was a little girl, I always thought there was something about that little red flag sticking up in the air. It isn’t unusual for me to send cards or letters to my friends or people I am thinking about on a regular basis, actually I can be accused of doing so quite often. As a matter of fact, I was known to one of my friend’s boyfriend’s as the “girl that writes letters.” No, I’m not joking. Letter writing is some serious business. Because “snail mail” is something that has captured my heart, I wrote Hawk 12 letters before he deployed. I…
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Week 13: Photolog
It’s been three months. And I miss moments like these. I’ve never been so ready for anything in my life than to hug this man again.
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Week 11: London’s Calling!
When I said Farewell to Hawk almost two and a half months ago, I seriously thought that it would be an entire year before I would get to see him again. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this was possible. And it is undeniably such a God thing. But plane tickets are booked! The confirmations have been emailed! It’s official! LONDON’S CALLING!
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Week 10: Memorial Day
Today is Memorial Day. Like many others my mind is full of the price our freedom actually costs. And unlike times in the past, I can only allow those thoughts to linger for so long. I can only handle so many heartbreaking photos and stories of those who have lost their loved ones. This year I’m scrolling by quickly. Because my man isn’t home yet. And while the area he is deployed isn’t exactly in the most dangerous “hotspot,” danger still exists, not to mention the fact that flying alone carries elements of danger itself. (You should see the manual Hawk has of potential things that could go wrong. It’s…
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Week 9: Big Things!
May has been a month of changes. Some exciting, some overwhelming, some just new. Sunday- May 5th A couple of weeks ago, I had reached my desperate point. While in church the song “I Surrender All” played and I just gave it all up. I gave up my worries about finding a “career job” that I had been looking so hard for. I gave up the constant mental battle of loneliness dealing with this deployment. I just gave up trying to make it all work. I reached the end of me. It was going to have to be God. Because Heaven knows I had done everything in “my” power to…
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Week 7: “Emily” Flowers
A couple of days ago, I had a bad day. One of those days where you wake up and feel the weight of the world and all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep. Because sleep was relief from racing thoughts. And I did for a while. And then I had to get up, because I would’ve laid in that bed all day long. And that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Yesterday, a day after Hawk and my 8th month anniversary, there was a package left on my doorstep. It was a purple flower box. And it made an okay…
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Week 6: Lest I Forget
May means another calendar page turned. It gives me satisfaction that time is indeed moving. Yet it also seems like I should be looking back on May like it was a long time ago. While I am sometimes tempted to bemoan the fact that Hawk is over 5,500 miles away from me, and that the time difference is such an inconvenience, and that we don’t talk near as much as we used to; I never want to be ungrateful for all the blessings that we do have. Like the blessing of Wi-Fi and the fact that I can still see his face even though an entire ocean separates us. Like…
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In the Here & Now: Lessons from a Cup of Coffee
I sat across the table from her with a hot cup of coffee cradled between my fingertips. The impact of the words from my mouth startled me. Unexpected truth, said more for my benefit, than hers. The reality washed fresh over me as it clicked not just in the recesses of my brain, but the crevasses of my heart. Words, not of my own, but for my own. My own soul. My own heart. My own sojourning. My own search for the joys in the here and now. The segment of the conversation began with talking about a study I was doing. A study on the principle found in Deuteronomy…
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Week One
According to the calendar it has been a week since “The Farewell.” A week that has sometimes seemed to have passed quickly, and then other times seemed to have dragged into an eternity. It depends on the day, it depends on the moment, it depends on the mood. On good days, I have the proper perspective. I know that this is just a season (well more like 4 seasons) and that while at times it may seem like the hands on the clock are frozen in time, they aren’t, and this season isn’t going to last forever. It is temporary. On not so good days, or moments, I can’t stand…
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Farewell, and I’ll See You Soon
This morning Hawk left. His family and I arrived at the base to see him off. It was an experience I’ll never forget. Because we knew we would be rushed and in public, we said our goodbyes the night before. He hugged me, I got mascara on his shirt, and we prayed together. While I was so emotional I could hardly start my part of the prayer, I could feel the Holy Spirit’s power overcome and was able to say the things I wanted and needed to say. It was such a powerful moment. It was a holy moment. And I became even more thankful that God saw fit to…
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Our Story – and Waiting
I’ve had my experience with waiting. The dreaded word in this instant gratification culture. Waiting seems like a foreign thing when there seems to be an “app” for everything. The wait is the long line before the anticipated “roller coaster ride.” Although sometimes the line, the wait, seems to be a roller coaster in and of itself. Even though it may not seem like it at the time. I’ve really come to dread the word. It’s not a fun word. It usually means moments of loneliness and discontentment at times. It means not getting what you deeply desire when you feel like you need it, or more selfishly think you…
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Plan to be Surprised
Let me tell you a little secret. I never ever ever wanted to be interested in someone in the military. I never wanted to be involved with a soldier, especially one who is going to deploy. And yet I am. This is new. It’s a completely different culture that I’m not used to and I know very little about. So as a way to process these new experiences and the idea of my Hawk and my impending separation, I decided that I need to write about it. What can I say? I majored in English. Writing is a therapeutic for me. And just the idea of this deployment is enough…
