Chasing Rest

It was mile 769 out of 1,041 of our drive across the west, when I dared utter the words.

“Do you ever wish we could live a slower life?” I asked my husband as we drove across the rolling plains and red clay mountains of Utah. He turned his head slightly and I offered clarification. “Do you ever wish we could move to someplace like this? Live slower. More intentionally. Not as hurried or rushed. You know, more at peace.” I turned my eyes to the countryside, letting my imagination play.

I pictured a little house in the meadow of the mountains in a small town like the one we just drove through. I imagined sitting on the back porch immersed in God’s glorious creation without the Florida heat or mosquitos. I saw us spending more time outdoors and less on our phones or in front of the television.

This wasn’t the first time the thought popped into my head. It originated last year on our fourth anniversary trip to Colorado. This time, however, it was magnified as we saw more of the pictures just don’t do it justice landscapes of the Grand Canyon in Arizona and Zion National Park in Utah. In my mind, at that moment, this was rest. This was the dream.

When I saw the city lights of home from the window of 34F, the illusion of rest vanished. We were back to the hustle. We were back to the busy intersections and crowded towns. We were back in the rat-race. And I once again longed for the little valley amidst the mountains where my imaginary rest awaited.

This morning I braved the humidity on our back porch and turned to Psalm 23.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

Immediately, I correlated it to our recent travels. In Zion, we hiked up to Scout’s Lookout which is right before the 1/2 mile chain walk up to the Angel’s Landing Summit. Even without attempting the chains, it was a challenging hike. 21 steep switchbacks literally squatting at some points to climb up a mountain made me really glad for my preparation on the spin bike. We would slow our pace occasionally, not just for a break, but to just look – to behold the incredible, out of this world type views we still couldn’t quite believe we had the privilege of experiencing.

The wind blew hair from my braid and I couldn’t help but snap picture after picture trying to imprint the scenes into my mind – to remind me of this illusive rest when I returned home. I attempted to absorb the color changes of the mountains, the rivers flowing through the carved edges, the animals frolicking on the trails.

After the hike we detoured to a lodge in the park. We took advantage of the trees that shaded their lawn. We laid back on the slightly damp grass and looked up – mountains vertically surrounding us. This is what I now picture when I read “He makes me lie down in green pastures.” The cool shade. The rest after a long hike. The peaceful wind and chirping birds. The beautiful mountains.

I see the gentle stream of the river flowing through the mountain crags. I remember the deer coming to the bank for a drink. “He leads me beside still waters.”

To get to the park we had to drive through a mile long tunnel, which was literally carved through the mountain 80 years ago. It is dark and narrow and downhill. After so long, you would drive by a little window, offering a brief view of light and the scenic vista points – however, the best view waited for you at the very end of the tunnel. The darkness opens up, and you are surrounded by the mountains. It feels like you are enveloped in them. Words just can’t adequately describe the feeling. You can’t help but catch your breath as your brain tries to absorb the view in front of you. “He restores my soul.”

I know now why they call it Zion. It’s a glimpse of heaven on earth.

Back on the porch, I read the rest of the Psalm. Verse 6stuck with me: “Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord and His presence shall be my dwelling place.”

While Zion is aptly named, just like the fading flowers and withering grass of Isaiah 40, it won’t last. Only the Word of God will remain. To idolize creation, even the most beautiful ones, is to worship creation over the Creator. Even the pictures just don’t do it justice ones fail to compare to the Creator’s beauty and glory. All of this – it’s just a glimpse of Him. It’s a reflection of His glory and magnitude. And He gives us the gift of beholding it – but wants us to behold him first and foremost. I was reminded of this truth as I looked across my suburbia backyard. Lasting rest is not found in creation. Creation is just a glimpse of the Creator’s majesty – just like Zion is just a glimpse of True Zion. While I found temporary rest in the shaded meadow among the mountains, lasting rest, lasting peace, is only found in the Shepherd. In Him, we lack nothing.

Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

If you look at the Hebrew, be still is the word raphah. It is a commanding verb or order. It is defined as “to let drop, abandon, relax, refrain, to let go.” It can also be read “to let down the hand.” Lower your hands. Stop moving. Abandon all other pursuits but Me. Refrain from your constant striving. Let go of everything you are trying to control. Rest and know. Know is one of my favorite Hebrew words and it also a commanding verb. Know is yada’. To intimately know and be known.

I’ve been studying Exodus and have been amazed at repetition of one phrase: “So you shall know that I AM the LORD.” Seriously, start highlighting all the times it is used – it’s a lot! Do you see the close wording also used in Psalm 46:10? That’s Exodus’ anthem – knowing I AM, but it is also the entire anthem of Scripture – to yada’ the Lord.

I can yada’ Him on the mountaintops and I can also yada’ Him in my fenced in suburbia backyard. I can find the illusive rest I’ve been seeking in Him. He is my rest. He alone restores the soul. He alone meets the need deep inside. Creation, it’s just another love note from God – so we will know Him.

God, my shepherd!
    I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
    you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
    you let me catch my breath
    and send me in the right direction.

Your beauty and love chase after me
    every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
    for the rest of my life.

Psalm 23:1-3, 6 MSG