Week 19: The Difference a Year Can Make

I’m a big journaler. This isn’t a surprise to anyone who knows me. Hawk actually handmade me a journal for my birthday last year because he knew it was something I would use and cherish – and I do.  So, it isn’t an unusual occurrence for me to randomly read some of my past journal entries. However, what is new is when I decided I wanted to read some to Hawk to reminisce about the day he asked me out.

It’s comical now to reread all my thoughts and analytical wonderings and the insecurities that seemed to plague me during our “getting to know you as more than friends” on our first couple of dates. It’s funny, looking back, because now I am secure in our relationship. I’m pretty convinced that nothing is quite as bad as not knowing where you stand with someone relationship wise.  But that is where you start out – getting to know each other, and getting to know Hawk on a whole new level, a level beyond group friendship was one of the most exciting times of my life. I read these memories, these special thoughts with a smile. It was exciting and thrilling, but let me tell you something…I love where we are now so much more. I love the depth of our relationship, the knowing him more and better on deeper levels, the commitment.

A year ago we were starting to seriously develop an interest in each other. Last August we watched the London Olympics as buddying friends, and this August I’m flying to London to see him! After 161 days apart, I will be so ready to see my guy.

It made me think how much can change in a year. How much you can grow. How much I’ve grown, how much we’ve grown together. And it makes me really, really excited to see where we will be this time next year 😉