Journaling, Parenting, Spiritual Growth, The Motherhood Chapters

Letters From Mom – Part II

June 13 – Week 28

Dear Baby,

I’m pretty sure you’ve grown while your daddy’s been away for training. I’ve missed him. I think you have too. I think you miss his voice and large warm hand.

We are officially in the 3rd trimester! 28 week today. It’s hard to believe how fast it has gone. You’ll be here so very soon. You’re not just kicking me now, you’ve started to roll more – doing those aliens type moves. The sensations are so cool and weird at the same time.

I’m enjoying this one on one time with you. I’m not ready to share you with the world yet. You’ve been with me under my heart for almost 7 months. When I feel stressed or lonely, you kick me and it brings me such joy – I’ll miss that. In the meantime, I’m determined to cherish every moment.

I’m so blessed to be the one you call Mom.

 July – Week 30

Dear Baby,

I’m 30 weeks today and starting to feel it a bit – I’m getting tired easier and generally more uncomfortable. And yet, I feel your rolls and kicks and know you are doing well and it makes me smile. You’ve gotten really active during the day and you get the hiccups a lot making my whole stomach jerk and shake. Your daddy and I watch my belly jump each night and smile at each other. We are getting closer on your name. Your daddy likes to say silly things to you making me giggle as you squirm within. You are surrounded by love, little man. We’re excited to meet you.

July 11 – Week 32

Dear Baby,

We had another ultrasound last week. You are head down and love to kick me right in the ribs. The ultrasound tech got a shot of your feet and said “He’s got big feet!” I pointed to your daddy and we laughed.

You’ll be here so soon. It’s getting more real every day. Your dad likes to poke my now “outie” belly button. You don’t like it very much and roll to one side of my stomach. A picture of your dad showed up on my phone the other day. He was holding one of his cousin’s babies and had the biggest smile on his face. He’s going to be such a great daddy. I can’t wait to see him hold you for the first time.

August 3rd – Week 35

Dear Baby,

img_0273-1There are only 33 days left before your due date! I’ve entered that “nesting” phase. We’ve had so many wonderful baby showers. You are so loved already baby boy. We’ve gotten your nursery ready and I like to go in there and just dream of you growing up in it. Your dad installed your car seat and I’ve washed all your baby clothes. It’s getting so real!

I’m definitely larger and have started swelling. My poor poor swollen feet. I’ve worn flip flops for the past three months because I can’t fit into any other shoes. The reality of the labor and the delivery process has been on my mind a lot. I know it’s typical new mom nerves – but in the end, I’ll be a mom, your mom and it’ll all be worth it.

I love you little man.

August 8th – Week 36

img_0246Dear Baby,

I’m officially nine months pregnant. It’s so surreal to me. It seems like I just blinked and am now in the last month of pregnancy. When that pregnancy test showed “Yes,” nine months seemed like forever away – and now here we are. I’m getting more uncomfortable and we are so close to getting to meet you.

Your room is now full of all kinds of fun baby things. Your dad and I went out and finished buying the things we still needed from our baby registries. It was so much fun!

I love you so much little one. I’ve covered your future arrival in prayer. I’ve prayed for God’s presence to be so obvious in the room where you are born and where we recover. I’ve prayed against all evil plans that the enemy has and that the angels would guard our rooms. I’ve prayed for the doctors and nurses that will assist in bringing you into the world. I’ve prayed for an easy and enjoyable labor and delivery (as enjoyable as it can be) which sounds impossible, but He is indeed the God of impossibilities. He’s the God of miracles, the God of answered prayer. You are proof of His goodness and faithfulness, my son. May you one day experience His power and presence firsthand.

August 15 – Week 37

img_0149-2Dear Baby,

We saw you for the last time until we get to see you face-to-face. You are head down and your face was all smooshed. You have the cutest little pouty face. You were NOT happy that they kept poking at you and shaking you around in attempts to get pictures.

The doctor says that you could come at any time – which is incredibly exciting and also nerve wracking.

I’ve cleaned and organized your nursery the past few days and even packed your hospital bag. We attended a newborn care class and toured the hospital where you’ll be born – the exact same hospital your mom and dad were born in.

We are ready to meet you when you are!

August 29th – Week 39

Dear Baby,

Your due date is one week away! We had another doctor’s appointment today and you’re so ready to be born. I’m very progressed, so much so that the doctor offered to induce me tonight. Your daddy and I thought about it but decided that since tomorrow is our anniversary we would wait one more week and if you didn’t come by then, we’ll get induced on your due date. We’re so excited to meet you, baby boy!

Knowing you could come any day or on Tuesday at the latest has made me more reflective of your kicks and movements. Time with you under my heart is limited. Soon you’ll be outside my body and I’ll have to share you with the world.

I’m starting to get excited to see you again. My fear over labor shadowed my joy of meeting you, but the Lord is so good. I’ve reread my journal entries over and over again – you’ve been so prayed for, so longed for. You are the answer to our prayers. We love you so much.

I’ve carried you in for nine months and my life will never be the same. You’re going to be my heart outside my body. Your daddy and I are praying for your salvation and the Lord’s favor in your life.

As Always,

Love Mom

September 3rd – Almost Week 40

Dear Baby,

This will probably be the last letter I write to you before you are in my arms and I can’t believe we are so close to meeting you! I try to imagine what it’ll be hear your first cry or see your face for the first time or count your little fingers and toes.

Today at church we went to the alter and we prayed for you. It reminded me of when we went up there in January  right after we found out about you.

Your daddy grabbed my hand and prayed for me to have peace and strength. He prayed for my health and for you to be healthy and safe during the delivery. He prayed for your salvation and for you to come to know Jesus at the earliest possible age.

I prayed that your birth would be an incredibly spiritual experience. That nothing would rival seeing the miracle of life. That we’d know a little more of God’s great love for us and that God would give us the love to love you as you deserve to be loved, unconditionally.  I prayed for my earthly body to be prepared and have strength for the challenge ahead and for God’s presence to be so clear to everyone we come in contact with at the hospital.

I stroke my stomach and you kick me with your foot. I smile because it’ll be so fun to see your little personality develop.

We’ve come so far, you and I. I’ve carried you for almost 40 weeks and I’ve known about you for 36 of those weeks. Your daddy and I prayed for you for nine months before you even existed, so if you think about it we’ve prayed for you for a year and a half.

You are an answer to our prayers, Fletcher Ridge. Yes, we’ve finally decided on your name. May it be a name the angels know. May it be a name of a warrior for God. Fletcher means arrow maker. May your arrows fight the enemy, may your life be one of making God’s name known. May you love Him first, follow Him always, and worship and serve Him all the days of your life.

Be tender hearted and gentle, looking after the downtrodden. Be strong and courageous, standing against injustice. Love others well. Save your heart and body for the woman you will one day call wife. Marry well – marry a woman who chases after God with all her heart. May you grow up to be a godly husband and father. Love your children tenderly- be sensitive to their little souls. Guide them. Lead them to know the Faithful Father. Love us well. Love your future siblings well. Most of all, love God well.

These are big prayers for such a little baby, especially one yet to be born,  but you grow, faster than your mommy will like – and as you grow I pray you’ll grow with God. I pray He will capture your heart, your life, your will. I pray you’ll grow in His wisdom and stature and that you’ll one day be a man after His heart.

And I pray for your daddy and me. May we be examples of His great grace and model these things in our own lives as we raise you.

I love you more than I even realize, Fletcher. Soon you will be in my arms.

Always and Forever,

Mommy

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