Journaling, Spiritual Growth

Soul Rustlings

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I love following other people’s blogs. Many times the Holy Spirit speaks to me and moves me through the inspiring things I read. Lately, however, I’ve developed a holy jealousy. A jealousy for God to reveal Himself to me directly. To really give me my own voice. I read moving stories of how other women are experiencing God in such a raw and real way and I write down quotes that impact me, but I want more. I don’t want to just read about God or how others are growing and experiencing His Presence – I want that relationship with Him myself!

I jealousy crave knowing Him that way firsthand. I greatly desire for Him to speak to me. To reveal Himself to me.

Yes, the Body of Christ is a beautiful gift and the Holy Spirit uses others in so many ways to encourage my soul – but I don’t have to rely on them to know Him. It is my right as His child to experience His glory, revelation, inspiration, and voice. I can know Him, discover His mysteries, hear His voice, and draw near to Him.

The Holy Spirit rustled in my soul. Rarely does He ever speak to me through shouts. If it’s not having His word jump off the page before me or through the moving lyrics of a song, it is almost always that still small whisper, that soul rustling.

I want God’s words, but I’m being fed off the words of others. Instead of opening my Bible with anticipation for Him to speak, I’m picking up my phone to start continuously scrolling through social media.

When you feel stuck sometimes you have to give something up in order to get your feet moving again. Sometimes you have to drop what is in your hands to experience a breakthrough.

I’m doing a 30 day devotional designed to create a habit of being in God’s Word daily. The soul rustling continued. I needed to break one habit in order to fully embrace the other. Replace social media with His Word. Replace other people’s words and thoughts with His own.

So other than these scheduled blog postings, I’m fasting from certain social media outlets for the same 30 days I’m creating this habit of dwelling with God.

At first, I scoffed at the whisper. I’ve tried to do a social media fast before and didn’t last very long. 30 days? It was going to be a challenge. My flesh did not want to delete the Facebook app off my phone, but because of it’s rebellion at the thought, I knew it was the Holy Spirit who initiated the whisper.

I wanted to hear God’s voice. I wanted Him to be real to me in a new way. I wanted Him to give me words to write instead of relying on everyone else’s, but at the same time I was reluctant to let the other voices go.

The Lord calls us to fellowship. He calls us to freedom. And if He sees something that is causing you to remain stuck, to not move forward with Him on the grand adventure He has planned, He executes an escape route to experience that freedom with Him.

We don’t have to live a life being content with lesser things. We don’t have to live off the words of others. We don’t have to tolerate a “lesser things” spiritual life. God is more than capable, more than willing, more than anxious to give us more. He’s the abundantly more, God, remember?

Wanting more in our spiritual journey with Him isn’t wrong. Rather it is an invitation for Him to speak new life, to wreck our checklist faith, to transform our minds from lesser things to His abundantly more. More of the joy we crave and the daily bread that will more than satisfy.

Too often on the journey to freedom we think of the things we had to give up and leave behind instead of the miraculous things we may be gaining by moving forward. I want to experience God’s Presence, His Nearness, and His Realness in a fresh way that will forever change my perspective and walk with Him. I want Him to use this time to drown out the voices of “lesser things” to train me to seek His Face and know His voice.

I don’t want to miss what He is doing because I want to shortchange His process by taking a shortcut. He has issued and invitation for me to follow Him and believe Him for more. I’ve RSVPed yes.

My pen is poised. Open my ears and speak your thoughts. I want to write only what you tell me to pen. May it not be me glorifying the abilities you have given me, but may I glorify you –  the God who has loved, rescued, redeemed, healed, inspired, and the giver of all gifts. May I use them well, Father. 

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