This morning Hawk left.
His family and I arrived at the base to see him off. It was an experience I’ll never forget. Because we knew we would be rushed and in public, we said our goodbyes the night before. He hugged me, I got mascara on his shirt, and we prayed together. While I was so emotional I could hardly start my part of the prayer, I could feel the Holy Spirit’s power overcome and was able to say the things I wanted and needed to say. It was such a powerful moment. It was a holy moment. And I became even more thankful that God saw fit to bring Hawk, a man of God, into my life. He makes me aspire to be a women after God’s own heart. It is something I do not take for granted.
We arrived in the dark this morning and met up with him in his camo. He had shown us around the base two days before at the Deployment Ceremony. He even got me to sit in a Blackhawk. It was quite overwhelming and my admiration and pride in him grew as I realized all the concentration and studying it takes to fly one of those things. I was impressed.
When it was time for our goodbyes, he came over to hug and kiss me for the last time in a year. As soon as he let go of me, I could hardly stand the emptiness. To my great embarrassment, I let out a very audible sob. I composed myself enough to watch him walk back to the helicopter and put his helmet on and climb inside. We waited and watched as the blades began to spin and the sound would have been deafening if it wasn’t for the earplugs. One by one, five choppers lined up and began their assent in the air. I watched amazed, knowing my man was piloting one and was in awe seeing him in his element. All the military families ran/walked out as far as they could to see their loved ones fly off, until they were visible no more.
It was loud when they took off…..and then quiet. It was a surreal moment. I have a hard time describing the quiet. It was a sad quiet. I looked around at everyone else. Wives, children, husbands, all still silently walking back slowly trying to get one last look at their soldiers in the sky. It was almost unreal to me. The fact that I was on a military base, surrounded by soldiers, and watching my camo clad man fly off, was the last thing from my mind that I thought I would ever experience. I vowed when I was younger that I could never date someone in the military because I didn’t want to have to survive a deployment. And yet, God must have different plans, because out of all the men in the world, I fell for one in the Army. Still amazes me, sometimes at the irony.
The silence was also the quiet of relief in a sense. The deployment had been weighing heavy on my heart these past few months and it was cause for anticipation and dread. Now goodbyes were over and the wait for his return had began. I no longer had to dread him leaving. Now I could just wait for his return.
While today has been a roller coaster of emotions, sadness, pride in my man, acceptance, then seeing something that reminds me of him therefore throwing me back into tears, it has also been such an honoring experience by all the love and support every one has poured out. People I haven’t heard from in years have messaged me on Facebook saying that they are praying for me and that they are thankful for Hawk’s service. Friends of my parents have sent encouraging messages. It is such a tribute to how special Hawk is. It is a tribute to God and how He has placed us in each other’s lives. It is like He is smiling down His blessing on us.
I feel so hopeful and encouraged and it is such a God-thing. Thank you to all of you who have supported us and prayed for us. I ask that you continue to do so. We both covet and need your prayers during this season of separation. But I have a feeling our reunion is going to be even sweeter because of it.
Thank you all for turning such a hard day into a hard day with a blessing. You have blessed us indeed.